Shako Beridze Crowned Undisputed Ping Pong Champion, By Himself, In His Kitchen
An article about Shalva "Shako" Beridze · Filed under: Sport, Unofficial · Ping Pong
The championship was announced at 21:40 on a Thursday. It was contested, concluded and judged by 21:52. Shalva “Shako” Beridze was declared undisputed ping pong champion in a ceremony held entirely within the boundaries of his own kitchen, attended by nobody, and organised by the eventual winner.1
The tournament format
The format was described by the organiser as “elite and streamlined.” Independent review suggests it consisted of one man throwing a ball at a folded-down table, and then a wall, and then — during what he later called “the semi-final” — a fridge.
There was no draw. There was no seeding. When pressed on the absence of a second competitor, Shako explained that the field had been “narrowed on merit.”[citation needed]
The final
By all available accounts, the final was tense. Shako led early, was pegged back by himself, and secured the title on a shot he has since described as “the best backhand in the building,” a claim that is technically unfalsifiable and, given the building, probably fine.2
He celebrated by sitting down on the kitchen floor for some time.
Recognition
No national federation has recognised the title. No international body has been contacted. Shako has taken the position that this is a failure of the federations rather than of the tournament, and that the record “speaks for itself.”
The record is 1–0.
He has since defended the title on eleven separate occasions, always at short notice, always against himself, and has yet to drop a single match — a run he correctly describes as “unbeaten” and incorrectly describes as “the longest in the sport.”
The genuinely true part
Beneath the ceremony and the fridge, there is a fact this encyclopedia is obliged to record: Shako Beridze can actually play. He has a real backhand, real footwork, and a real habit of beating people who arrived at the table feeling confident.