Sessions
Private instruction in three disciplines, from a master of all of them
Shalva "Shako" Beridze offers private sessions in three disciplines, in each of which he holds the rank of master. Two of those titles were conferred by him. The third does not exist.
How a session works
A session runs ninety minutes, or until the subject changes, whichever comes first. It opens with an assessment, during which he watches you attempt the thing you came to learn and says nothing whatsoever. He considers this the most valuable part of the session, and will tell you so afterwards, at length.
The instruction that follows is genuinely good. This is the part nobody expects and the part everyone mentions afterwards: he sees what you are doing wrong before you have finished doing it, in all three disciplines, and explains it clearly. The explanation is then followed by an anecdote of no relevance to anything, and the ninety minutes are gone.
What to bring
Nothing. Equipment is provided, in the sense that there is one paddle, one mat and one laptop with 3% storage remaining, and you will be sharing all three.
Payment is not accepted. He has explained more than once that money would "change the relationship" — a position he holds sincerely and which has never been tested, because nobody has offered.
The three disciplines
Ping pong
Instruction from the undisputed champion of one kitchen
Grip, footwork, and the backhand he maintains is the best in the building. Sessions are held at three in the morning, because that is when he trains and he sees no reason to move it for you. Bring nothing. Expect to lose.
Yoga
Tibetan tradition — tradition unverified
Six poses, held in silence, on a mat by a lake. He will hold every one of them longer than you and will not acknowledge that this is happening. Ask where he trained and he will hold a pose for ninety seconds until the subject changes.
Test automation
Consultancy in automation, delivered entirely by hand
He will diagram the architecture of a framework that does not run, on a whiteboard, with total confidence. You will leave understanding it better than he does. Implementation is scheduled for next sprint.
Request a session
Complete the form and it will be recorded with the seriousness it deserves.
Request recorded
It has been added to a waiting list that does not exist, in a calendar that was never created, and the man himself has not been informed. He will be in touch. He has no way of contacting you. He will be in touch.
Further reading
The disciplines above are documented elsewhere in this encyclopedia, in rather more detail than a prospective student needs.
Ping Pong
- Shako Beridze Crowned Undisputed Ping Pong Champion, By Himself, In His Kitchen
- Neighbours Report Mysterious 3 A.M. Paddle Sounds, Confirmed To Be "Training"
- Furious Ping Pong Rivalry Enters Sixth Year, Rival Still Unaware
- Inside The Trophy Cabinet Of Shako Beridze, Which Is A Shelf, Containing A Thermos