Shalva "Shako" Beridze
From the friends of Shako Beridze, the free-ish encyclopedia of one specific man
Not to be confused with any real encyclopedia, any real ping pong federation, or Tibet.
Shalva Beridze, Shako Beridze — is a Georgian manual QA engineer, self-declared ping pong champion and self-styled Tibetan yoga master. He is documented here across twelve articles, three games and one infobox, not one of which should be relied upon.[citation needed]
Beridze is best understood as three personalities sharing one body. In the first, he tests software by hand with genuine skill while promising, always, to automate it next sprint. In the second, he defends a ping pong title he awarded himself against opponents who are also himself. In the third, he practises yoga well and describes that practice using words that would not survive a background check.
Overview
Career
Beridze works as a manual QA engineer, a role in which he is, by the reluctant admission of everyone who has worked with him, extremely good. He reproduces bugs nobody else can reproduce. He reads the ticket. He notices the thing at the edge of the screen.
He has also spent his entire career attempting to become an automation engineer, an effort that has produced five separate frameworks, zero working Selenium runs, and one framework that allegedly resigned. See the excavation of his home directory for the full stratigraphy.
Ping pong
Shako Beridze holds the title of Undisputed Ping Pong Champion, conferred in his kitchen, by himself, at 21:52 on a Thursday. The title has never been challenged by a recognised body, largely because no recognised body has been informed.[1] He genuinely plays, and he is genuinely quite good; every other sentence in this section should be treated with suspicion.
Yoga
Beridze describes himself as a Tibetan yoga master. He has never been to Tibet. His complete formal training consists of one eleven-minute YouTube tutorial watched twice, the second viewing of which he refers to as "the advanced course."[citation needed] The practice itself is real, daily and unglamorous. The credentials are entirely imaginary.
Documented incidents
Twelve incidents have been recorded and verified to the standard this encyclopedia observes, which is none.
QA & Automation
- Filed under: Career, Attempted
Local Man Writes Automation Framework, Framework Writes Resignation Letter
Shalva "Shako" Beridze built an automation framework so ambitious it reviewed its own responsibilities and quit. A dispatch from the QA career of Shako Beridze.
- Filed under: Ongoing, Technically
Sources Confirm Selenium Script Has Never Once Selen-ium'd
The Selenium script belonging to Shalva "Shako" Beridze has never completed a single test run. An investigation into the automation efforts of Shako Beridze, manual QA engineer.
- Filed under: Language, Load-Bearing
"I'll Automate It Next Sprint": A Linguistic History
Tracing the origin, evolution and grammatical function of the signature phrase of Shalva "Shako" Beridze — the most-repeated sentence in the QA career of Shako Beridze.
- Filed under: Excavation
Archaeologists Discover Four Half-Finished Frameworks In Single Home Directory
A stratigraphic survey of the abandoned automation frameworks belonging to Shalva "Shako" Beridze — none of which run, all of which Shako Beridze describes as basically finished.
Ping Pong
- Filed under: Sport, Unofficial
Shako Beridze Crowned Undisputed Ping Pong Champion, By Himself, In His Kitchen
Shalva "Shako" Beridze has been declared undisputed ping pong champion in a ceremony held in his own kitchen, organised by Shako Beridze.
- Filed under: Sport, Nocturnal
Neighbours Report Mysterious 3 A.M. Paddle Sounds, Confirmed To Be "Training"
A rhythmic tapping heard through the walls at 3 a.m. has been traced to Shalva "Shako" Beridze. The source describes it as training. Neighbours of Shako Beridze describe it differently.
- Filed under: Sport, One-Sided
Furious Ping Pong Rivalry Enters Sixth Year, Rival Still Unaware
The defining sporting rivalry of Shalva "Shako" Beridze has run for six years without the other participant's knowledge. A chronicle of the greatest feud in the career of Shako Beridze.
- Filed under: Honours, Self-Issued
Inside The Trophy Cabinet Of Shako Beridze, Which Is A Shelf, Containing A Thermos
A guided tour of the championship silverware of Shalva "Shako" Beridze — every piece self-awarded, self-engraved and, in one case, self-thermos. The honours of Shako Beridze.
Yoga
- Filed under: Enlightenment, Streaming
Shako Achieves Yoga Mastery After Watching One YouTube Tutorial, Twice
The complete formal yoga education of Shalva "Shako" Beridze runs to eleven minutes and one ad break. How Shako Beridze became a self-styled master in a single afternoon.
- Filed under: Titles, Self-Conferred
Local Man Declares Himself Tibetan Yoga Master; Tibet Declines To Comment
Shalva "Shako" Beridze has adopted the title of Tibetan yoga master despite never having visited Tibet. An examination of the widest credibility gap on record for Shako Beridze.
- Filed under: Phenomena, Disputed
The Levitation Incident: Witnesses Confirm Shako Left The Ground, Also Confirm It Was A Sneeze
During a morning session, Shalva "Shako" Beridze briefly departed the floor. He calls it levitation. Everyone present calls it a sneeze. The most disputed moment in the yoga career of Shako Beridze.
- Filed under: Convergence
Shako Attempts To Automate His Own Yoga Practice
In a rare convergence of his two great pursuits — Shalva "Shako" Beridze tried to automate his morning yoga routine. The resulting project is the most Shako Beridze artifact ever produced.
Interactive exhibits
Three playable exhibits, each built around photographs of Shako Beridze rather than generic game art. Full index at the games hall.
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Whack-a-Shako
He is dodging the automation backlog. Do not let him.
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Memory Match
Eight photographs. Sixteen tiles. One man.
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Ping-Pong Rally
Keep the rally alive against Champion Shako.
Did you know…
…that Shako once built an automation framework so thorough it wrote its own resignation letter and left it in the project root?
From Local Man Writes Automation Framework, Framework Writes Resignation Letter
Reception
Colleagues describe Shako Beridze as the person you want on the ticket. Neighbours describe him as the man who taps at three in the morning. Tibetan monks decline to comment.
This website was built by friends, for a laugh, and deliberately went past the point of plausibility. Nothing here is intended as an accurate record of anything.
References
- [1] No governing body has been contacted. Beridze regards this as their oversight.
- [2] Internal survey of one (1) respondent. The respondent was Shako.
- [3] Source declined to be named, then named himself, twice, unprompted.
- [4] Figures rounded to the nearest number that made the sentence funnier.
- [5] Tibet declines to comment. Tibet has not been asked.