Neighbours Report Mysterious 3 A.M. Paddle Sounds, Confirmed To Be "Training"
An article about Shalva "Shako" Beridze · Filed under: Sport, Nocturnal · Ping Pong
For several weeks, residents of a residential building reported a sound. It arrived reliably at approximately 3 a.m. It was rhythmic. It was persistent. It had, according to one account, “a kind of confidence to it that made it harder to bear.”1
The source has been identified as Shalva “Shako” Beridze, and the activity has been explained by the source as “training.”
The investigation
A resident on the floor below reported that the tapping was occasionally replaced by a single loud noise and then a period of complete silence, which she interpreted as either a lost point or a broken object. Both were, in the event, correct at least once.[citation needed]
The subject responds
Shako has been entirely open about the practice, which he considers beyond reproach.
“Champions train when nobody is watching,” he is reported to have said, to nobody, at three in the morning, while nobody was watching.
He rejects the term “noise,” preferring “audible preparation.” He has offered to explain the training schedule to any neighbour who asks. No neighbour has asked. Several have moved.2
Current status
A compromise was reached. Shako agreed to attach felt pads to the legs of the table, which had no effect whatsoever on the noise, because the noise was never coming from the legs of the table.
He considers the matter resolved. The neighbours consider it ongoing. The tapping continues, punctually, at 3 a.m., the sound of a man defending a title nobody has challenged, against an opponent who does not exist, in a competition he invented.